Archive for month: September, 2018

Author’s note: This blog was written several years ago, but not widely shared. As someone who promotes the repurposing of content, when I happened upon this blog, I thought the sentiment was very much relevant today – plus, I think it’s a good story! Thanks, Geoffrey

This post is inspired by true events that I am sure anyone who has experience with young children will appreciate.

As a parent we believe that our goal is to teach lessons to our children about life. Often, however, it is they, who teach us lessons, although not always on purpose.

I was having a very busy second half of the workday, so when I came home to the usual frenzy of activity, I had a little bit less energy than perhaps I might usually. My mother-in-law had stopped in along with a heavily pregnant friend. Dinner was in full swing as my twin daughters had an evening social activity to attend with friends from their school.

One of my 7-year-old daughters approached me and asked innocently enough “Did you find my hat?” This triggered a memory from earlier in the day – at breakfast my daughter had said that she could not find her “cherished” red baseball cap. She implored me to look for it and I did say I would try. Of course, what we both failed to realize was that as I was on my way to work and there would be little time for me to look for it during the day. What was also not communicated was how important it was to my daughter to find that hat for that evening’s event.

As I told her I had not had a chance to look for it, I could see the pain in her eyes and she began to struggle to control herself from an oncoming meltdown.

I quickly said I would take a look for it and spent the next ten minutes frantically searching for the red baseball hat. I was unsuccessful. Every parent needs to be resourceful, so before returning to my patiently waiting daughter, I collected a few alternatives to the “Red baseball hat” in the vain hope that it might suffice and quell the impending hysteria.

I had a smaller version of the “red baseball hat” that belongs to my son, but this was too small and would not be suitable. I also presented a blue baseball hat, a grey baseball hat, a purple baseball hat, and two black baseball hats. None would do.

The sadness in my child’s eye was heartbreaking – ridiculous, but heartbreaking. But this was the first part of the lesson – to understand that another’s perspective can be quite dramatically different to your own. Although I thought it quite silly and inconsequential that my daughter wears her hat to the evening activity, let alone that it had to be a particular red baseball hat, for her, the importance was significant and real.

This is true for adults too, whether in personal relationships or in the business context.

There are certainly times when friends appear to be making a much bigger deal about something that you think is justified. Or perhaps a client or business partner is getting all excited about something you think is not a big deal.

First, one has to appreciate that for the other person it is a big deal to them. Second, you may not have all the information to understand why it is important. The lesson being, to have a little patience and consider that there may be more than meets the eye.

This was true in the case of the “little red baseball hat.” What I didn’t know and was never told was that my daughter had promised a friend from school that they would both wear particular baseball hats that night. There was clearly a discussion and for the two of them, it was of the utmost importance. While I didn’t understand the reasoning and did not know the circumstances, what was clear was that this was of great consequence to my daughter.

So, I decided to have one last look. Lo and behold, I found the little red baseball hat. It was not anywhere that I thought it might be. Another lesson to be learned. The answers are not always in the obvious places. Sometimes solutions come from unexpected sources.

As a result of my discovering the little red baseball hat, I became an instant hero. My daughter’s mood transformed the moment she saw the hat and I became “the best dad in the world,” accompanying by a massive hug.

I was very pleased with myself, but the last lesson was yet to come.

We rushed out of the house, my daughter grinning from ear to ear with her little red hat fixed intentionally askew on her head.

As we arrived at the location, my daughter bounded out of the car with a beautiful skip in her step. A few moments later, my daughter came up to me as I was about to leave and handed me the little red baseball hat. She announced that she no longer required or desired it.

I was dumbfounded. How was it possible that something so urgent, so critical only moments ago could now be discarded without a second thought or care?

I searched my daughter’s face for the answer to this mystery when her friend from school came up to her. Clearing understanding my confusion my daughter simply smiled a cheeky little smile and said that her friend had forgotten her hat and therefore she didn’t want or need hers.

She and her friend skipped away, hatless and happy as can be. I stood there with the little red baseball hat in my hands and couldn’t help but smile.

I should have been annoyed or angry, but so is the affect of a happy child to a parent. The lesson here is that things can change in an instant  (especially in the context of social media)– in all types of circumstances. There are times when something might seem extremely significant, but then something changes and it dramatically alters their importance.

Life throws us curve balls all the time and we need to be prepared and flexible, with or without a hat on.